Better Communication: Stop, look & listen

Humans like to talk.  Some of us tend to talk a lot because we're used to being "listened to" as parents or people in authority.  But the words we say are only part of the message we give.  The rest is nonverbal - voice tome, facial expression, posture and listening.  Too often we fail to recognize the importance of listening.  By listening we learn.  A good listener wants to hear what's being said and takes time to acknowledge other people's ideas and feelings.  We may try to listen, but we don't always hear.  Our moods and various distractions can undermine our ability to listen and hear what someone else is saying.

ARE YOU A GOOD LISTENER?

You are if you:

	Spend at least 50% of your time listening.
	Focus on the ideas being presented, not on the speaker or the delivery.
	Look at the person talking to you.
	Ask questions for clarity; or repeat out loud what you think you are hearing.
	Use nonverbal cues like a nod, smile or frown.
	Lon't interrupt the speaker.
	Pick the time and place for listening to minimize distractions.
	Avoid jumping to conclusions - allow the speaker to finish before you decide on a reply.
	Don't change the subject until the speaker is finished.

Listening requires energy and attention.  Remember the above techniques to help you hear better.

Relationships stay healthy and grow stronger with good communication.  Every day make an effort to:

	Share feelings.
	Show affection.
	Listen and ask questions.
	Think about your partner's needs.
	Do something together.

With practice, you'll find your efforts pay off.

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